Yesterday I was hit with the anxious thought that there are not enough hours in the day. John, and his male thinking, suggested that perhaps I should try managing my time better. (He is right, as always.) But that still doesn't change the fact that I feel a bit panicked.
I went part-time in December, and for moi, that equates to working (flying and being away from home) about six days a month. Meaning that I have potentially 24/25 days a month full of 24 hours in which I am free to choose how I spend those hours. That is more time than any one I know. I don't have children. I don't have a second job. I don't even volunteer anywhere. HOW CAN I BE USING UP ALL OF THOSE HOURS AND STILL FEEL LIKE THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME?!
When I found out I was going to be awarded part-time back in November, my mind started reeling with all of the trips and new countries I would be seeing (I'm at 20 countries, I need to make it to 30 by 30. 2.5 years....). Then came the rather rude awakening that God was not granting me this blessing so that I could be idle and/or selfish with all of this time. I have lived a truly charmed life with very little responsibility thus far. Where much is given, much is required and apparently it is pay-back time. Turns out The-Big-Man-Upstairs has quite the sense of humor.
Fast forward to today. I have been called to be the Gospel Doctrine teacher. The ONE AND ONLY Gospel Doctrine teacher. To say that I feel inadequate is a GROSS understatement. I taught my first lesson last Sunday and we will just say that there is room for improvement. On top of that John and I have been set apart as temple workers in the San Antonio Temple. We work the Saturday morning shift, every Saturday at 7:00 am. An added bonus to this upcoming weekend is our "Introduction" talk in Sacrament meeting. Our topic... "How the gospel changes lives..." How fitting.
I openly welcomed all of these new challenges, but at the moment I feel as though I am drowning in Mormonism. I have no doubt that I will come to love this new life where "time management" is so vital, but I am not quite there yet. In the mean time I will be spending a lot of time on my knees until I get my swimming strokes perfected.
In the wise words of a cartoon fish... "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming."
I really miss you. Think I can make 20 countries by 30? Me either, but I like the thought.
ReplyDeleteHi Jessie, Kalie here. Maga, Papa, Dad, Spencer, and I just got done catching up on all your blogging. We want you to know that we are very proud of you and the place you are at in your spiritual life. We love you. Keep up the good work. Give John our love.
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