Yesterday I was hit with the anxious thought that there are not enough hours in the day. John, and his male thinking, suggested that perhaps I should try managing my time better. (He is right, as always.) But that still doesn't change the fact that I feel a bit panicked.
I went part-time in December, and for moi, that equates to working (flying and being away from home) about six days a month. Meaning that I have potentially 24/25 days a month full of 24 hours in which I am free to choose how I spend those hours. That is more time than any one I know. I don't have children. I don't have a second job. I don't even volunteer anywhere. HOW CAN I BE USING UP ALL OF THOSE HOURS AND STILL FEEL LIKE THERE IS NOT ENOUGH TIME?!
When I found out I was going to be awarded part-time back in November, my mind started reeling with all of the trips and new countries I would be seeing (I'm at 20 countries, I need to make it to 30 by 30. 2.5 years....). Then came the rather rude awakening that God was not granting me this blessing so that I could be idle and/or selfish with all of this time. I have lived a truly charmed life with very little responsibility thus far. Where much is given, much is required and apparently it is pay-back time. Turns out The-Big-Man-Upstairs has quite the sense of humor.
Fast forward to today. I have been called to be the Gospel Doctrine teacher. The ONE AND ONLY Gospel Doctrine teacher. To say that I feel inadequate is a GROSS understatement. I taught my first lesson last Sunday and we will just say that there is room for improvement. On top of that John and I have been set apart as temple workers in the San Antonio Temple. We work the Saturday morning shift, every Saturday at 7:00 am. An added bonus to this upcoming weekend is our "Introduction" talk in Sacrament meeting. Our topic... "How the gospel changes lives..." How fitting.
I openly welcomed all of these new challenges, but at the moment I feel as though I am drowning in Mormonism. I have no doubt that I will come to love this new life where "time management" is so vital, but I am not quite there yet. In the mean time I will be spending a lot of time on my knees until I get my swimming strokes perfected.
In the wise words of a cartoon fish... "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming."